I'm convinced the world wants people who listen. Why else would we pay therapists $200 an hour because we want their undivided attention and the answers to our problems?
It seems to me, however, that our world is full of talkers. We even pay for talkers. Successful motivational speakers charge $100 thousand to speak at a conference. Specialists in sales teach week-end courses to 1000 people at $2000 each. Talking is also lucrative but only so when it solves the listeners' problems. All of which means these talking speakers had to be listening before they talked.
People need to feel appreciated and important. Listening is how we know someone cares. When people know you care about them and their dreams, instead of only selling to them, you are more likely to get what you want because you've helped them get what they want.
The question is when you are talking to a prospective client or attending a networking event are you actually listening or are you waiting for your turn to talk? Do you take the time to see the world through their eyes or are you looking for someone to hear your story?
Listening is not easy. No matter how good a talker you are, how much experience you have had in sales, you cannot motivate someone to something they don't want to do. If they felt pressured when they spoke to you and purchased your product, changes are fairly good that that will be his last purchase with you. Motivation comes from within. People tend to move away from the things that bother them and move toward things that feel good. When you find out what those things are you have the key to what motivates them. You can only do this when you stop talking and listen.
Listening is not half listening because you don't know how to get away without offending someone. Listening is not pretending you are interested when you are not. Nor is listening looking for weak points in an argument so you can be right. And listening is not the same as hearing but it is a mental and emotional process.
You may not need to perspire to listen well, but to apply listening skills, you will need to work at it and practice it.
Again, if you have tips for good listening, I'd love to learn them and share them with our readers. Post your tip on Comments.
To your career success.
Ruthan Brodsky
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