From Retirement To Career Change

Listening Helps You Build Relationships

People don't listen. They hear but they aren't really listening to what you have to say. A good cue is to watch their eyes. Are they looking at you? Are they looking at your face, at your eyes?

If you listen to someone and do your best to understand who they are, and what they have to say, they will eventually give you all that information. Some of what they say may be irrelevant, incorrect, or what you think is misguided. No matter. Some of it may give you the key to what motivates and inspires them to take action.

When you are seeking new customers or clients or want to establish better relationships with the people you have, you need to become a good listener.

For instance, let's say you are listening to someone who shares their dream of wanting to start a business in their home. Most entrepreneurs would launch into telling the person all about their great opportunity or their coaching skills, or their technical skills they can use to get started.

A better response is to ask that person "What is it about working from home that attracted you?" Now you can listen to the answer and discover more about this person. Maybe what you have to offer is the opposite direction of what this person seeks. Maybe what you have to offer is right on target.

In either case, keep asking questions and listen. Listening and talking isn't selling and people are too sophisticated today to jump at your coaching program or sales letter product. It is better to ask and talk then to sell. Find out their dreams, their goals, where is their pain.

If you're the one doing most of the talking you'll never find out how you can help them because you won't know where it hurts.

No matter how successful you become you end up building your business one person at a time, even if they're in groups. To do that you must make a personal connection with people, a connection that's powerful enough to overcome natural resistance to change, to try new business or life approaches, and to get out of their comfort zone.

One of the best ways to do this is by listening.

Please share any tips you may have about listening. Scroll down to comments and type them in the box.

To your success in life and business,

Ruthan Brodsky

Networking at Women's Events

This morning I attended an event about women's health sponsored by a local Chamber. One of the first people I recognized was Laura. I first met Laura about 2 years ago when she had been laid off by Chrysler and was attending a breakfast networking meeting sponsored by a women's group.

She had worked in the HR (Human Resources) department and was looking for a similar job in a corporate setting. Laura is friendly, energetic, an easy person to coach and someone who listens well.

After 8 or 9 months of unsuccessfully looking for a job she hung her own shingle and became a life coach, helping people figure out what direction to take, how to take it, and helping them obtain the skills they'll need to get where they want to go.

Laura says she's doing well but would like to do better. She knows that will be tough in Michigan given the economy. Even so, the lady keeps trucking. She attended this event, which did cost $24 probably because it was accompanied by a Continental breakfast, and I'll see her at another networking event next week.

Networking works for both Laura and I. We seldom see instant success such as gaining a new client immediately but it's not unusual for someone to call 6 or 9 months down the road. More often we receive a call from someone else we met at the event who wants us to have a conversation with one of his clients or a family member or a colleague. If we don't keep showing up and have some face time in these gatherings we'll be forgotten. And neither of us has the celebrity status to be remembered over time. So we show up and give our 60 second introduction and schmooze.

Schmoozing works. You need it to be one of your skills. Flirting is a kind of schmoozing so most of us have had some experience. Today you need it more than ever. It will help you get connected with others who may bring you referrals or serve as resources.

You just never know who someone else may know!

If you have some great tips on schmoozing let me know. I'd like to start a list of tips for schmoozing. Scroll down to comments and type your tip in the blank window. Much appreciation.

To your business success regardless of age.

Ruthan Brodsky

P.S.  There were 2 men who also attended.

Networking To Diversify Your Contacts and Connections

On one of my recent radio programs I spoke about the importance of diversifying your networking patterns to get more business.

Most of us know at least several hundred people and one would think that would be enough to give us referrals for our business. The problem is that we tend to know people like us, belonging to the same religious group, having kids the same age, having similar values, being in similar socio-economic levels and having similar education levels. When we contact these people we are actually talking to ourselves.

To be successful in building a business, regardless of the size, it is important to diversify. By not diversifying we are missing many opportunities of establishing a relationship with a new gatekeeper or linchpin who can give us contact to many more people. By not being diversified we are also missing many other possible contacts that could lead us to a preferred customer or client.

The main problem with diversifying is that it puts us outside of our comfort zone. Not only that we have our own biases about whom we think is a good referral source and who could not possibly be a good referral source. We like being with people who share our interests. How do you start a conversation with someone who loves the opera while you follow the Formula One races?

The answer is simple if you are both at a networking event because you both have the primary goal of meeting new people and making new contacts that may possibly lead to better connections in the future.

My advice is to start introducing yourself to people you do not know, especially at networking mixers. Look for someone who is different from you, your gender, age, culture and race. If you choose to develop this contact and make it a relationship, find out about the other person's network and eventually you may want to bring each other into your different circle of contacts.

You may even want to think about using this approach to diversify your friendships. It may just be the time for a small adventure.

To your continued success in life

Ruthan

P.S. Don't forget to check out the free teleseminar series I am hosting beginning in June. Topics will range from how to stay productive and healthy in middle age and beyond. Click here.

Twitter Takes Full Page in Wall Street Journal

Granted, the page was in the Culture Section of the Weekend WSJ but it was there (p. w3). The author, Julia Angwin tells her story, how she was pressured by friends to sign up and gradually learned the ins and outs of tweeting.

The article is fun to read if you're already familiar with Twitter and it is excellent reading if you're not because you need to be if you plan to have an internet presence for your business.

Angwin tells how she learned to tweet by following others and checking out the more popular tweeters, tweeters being people who tweet. She describes how she learned to shorten links to websites so she could get the link into the 140 characters you're allowed to use when sending a tweet. She also lists a couple of her favorite applications which help her manage and organize the tweets she receives. Her favorite app is Twitturly.com which tracks the most popular URLS or Web links being shared across Twitter.

I see Twitter as primarily a broadcast system that's meant to use on the phone. 140 characters on your Blackberry seems just about right. When US Airways Flight 1549 landed in the Hudson River, one of the first photos was posted as a link on Twitter.

It's also a great vehicle to promote your topic and what you're doing. However, you need to be very careful about spinning your promotions too heavily. Not acceptable.

Angwin had it right. Before you do too much of anything on Twitter follow the mavens who know what they're doing. Check out people you know who are expert in your field and see what they're doing. Follow them. Find out who they are following to see if that will lead you to even better resources.

Angwin's final words were that she liked Twitter because there is no way you can absolutely commit to it. No one expects you to reply to all the tweets that you get. She sees it as people watching. I see it as part of the Web 2.0 mix.

Tweet me @ruthanbrodsky

And let me know where I can follow you.